Recently I spotted an old bicycle on eBay in need of some serious love; quite frankly it looked like it's been dragged out of a canal! Plus it appears to have a really strange 'single-speed' conversion with the rear derailleur removed and the chain around the middle of the rear casette. The listing was very odd, although it does say the seller knows nothing about bikes, so fair enough really.
A VINTAGE REYNOLDS 531 RACING BYKE IN USED CONDITION,FOR RESTORATION,RUNS
I KNOW NOTHING AT ALL ABOUT BYKES
I HAVE AQUIRED THIS BYKE AND LOTS OF VINTAGE PARTS
TO PUT ON LATER
I WILL TRY TO EZXPLAIN
THIS IS A REYNOLDS 531 RACING BYKE
IN RUNNING CONDITION
BUT NEEDS ATTENTION
SO SOLD FOR RESORATION
IT HAS REYNOLDS LABELS IN 3 PLACES
ONE SAYS BUILT 531 BUTTED TUBES
THE FRONT WHEEL IS NOT ORIGINAL
HAS A BACK CARRIER
MADE MOSTLY OF METAL
PLUS ALLIMINIUM
HAS ALLIMINIUM SHIMANO AJGUSTERS ON FRAME
BACK TYRE 700-23,23-622
6 GEARS
FOOT PEDALS NOT SAME
DOES RUN OK
THIS WILL BE PICK UP ONLY
HAVE GOT VINTAGE BYKE PARTS TO FOLLOW
PICTURE DOWNLOADS VERY SLOW,
WILL PUT MORE ON SOON
BYE
It's always nice to give bicycles, or 'BYKES', a new lease of life so I messaged the seller to ask what size it was. I even sent a diagram showing how to measure the seat tube. This then started a slightly surreal conversation:
Me: "Could you let me know what the seat-tube length is please? You can measure it like this: [URL of image showing how to measure seat tub, centre-to-centre]"
Seller: "HI,IT IS 10" FULL LENGHT BY 6" WIDE AT BACK NARROW PART IS 6" LONG,IT HAS A FAINT NAME AT BACK OF SEAT,BYE"
Me: "Sorry, I don't understand what you mean. The image I sent shows how to measure the frame. It must be more than 10" as even a toddler's bike would be larger than that."
Seller: "hi,i did not understand you earlier but i do not need your hassle,or attitude.bye"
Me: "Hah, that's hilarious! All I'm asking you is what size the bike is, which is really the most important bit of information."
Seller: "you see what i mean,attitude problem,bye"
Ok, so I probably should have just left it there, but...
Me: "The only person with an attitude here is you. Not entirely sure how you can expect to sell things but then get annoyed when people ask you questions about the items. From your own feedback people have said: "Bad attitude & complete idiot from first contact." and "Total clown.". Maybe you do need to just calm down and realise that it's probably your interpretation rather than people actually giving you attitude."
How strange!
Update:
He's still going...
Seller: "when you have as much feedback as me, you will be an expert and the other person who said same as you might be related both of you with same problem,bye "
Me: "Still going, huh? Maybe the 'same problem' we have is...in fact...you! All you've managed to do is put me off bidding on your item, which I'm not entirely shows an expert level of anything."
Another Update:
Seller: "OOOOO"
Me: "Are you doing a 'scary ghost' now? With the white sheet and everything?"
He dumped me:
It was at the point I realised that while I'd sent an image to show him how to measure the 'seat tube:
But, like all tempestuous and passionate relationships it was over as quickly as it started. I really thought we had something special, but then this happened:
Seller: "next message to report you to ebay for hassle"
Reading these 9 simple words, I realised that our relationship was no more. It was over.
I put a brave face on it, saying "Absolutely fine with me", but they were empty words.
It was over...I had to come to terms with it...I'd never see his '10" by 6" saddle with a faint name on the back' again.